The Mother/Daughter relationship – why is it so complicated?
US university Penn State conducted study of mothers and daughters and found out some interesting results. Despite all the conflicts and complicated emotions, the tie between mothers and daughters is so positive and enduring that 80 to 90 percent of women at mid-life say that they have a good relationship with their mother – even though they wish that relationship were better. According to the study, “The relationship between mothers and their adult daughters is one in which the participants handle being upset with one another better than in any other," says Dr. Karen Fingerman, assistant professor of human development and family studies. "Women should recognise the strength of their relationship with their mother and appreciate it more." Sounds like something our mother would say to us doesn’t it?
“Although many aspects of the relationship change as daughters enter midlife, certain emotional qualities remain constant. In particular, mothers continue to influence the way daughters feel about themselves," she writes. "Years after daughters are grown, daughters feel guilty and ashamed when their mothers criticise them and feel happy when their mothers are proud of them. Indeed, women find it difficult to balance their desire to please their mothers while dealing with the inconveniences that arise in their relationships." Tell us something we didn’t know!
The best thing about the mother/daughter relationship is that it does appear to be a global phenomenon – no matter what country or nationality, women and daughters around the world have a weird, special, close, unique relationship. The mother/daughter relationship is very different to your relationship with your father and also very different to that with your siblings. It is hard to describe and even harder to dismiss as unimportant in your life. As Fingerman so eloquently advises us, the good (or bad) news is that the relationship between mothers and daughters remains central in both womens’ lives throughout both their lives.
Mothers and Daughters continued...
